Mark 9:20–24: And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
I can relate to the Father of this possessed child who cries out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” It sounds contradictory but I understand because I’ve prayed these words. I believe, I want to believe more. I want to trust God. I’m so desperate to do so that I need him to help me believe, to increase my faith. Somewhere along the way I started praying this prayer:
“Give me the discipline to match my desire for more of you”
More times than not, that prayer became:
“Lord, I don’t even have the desire, much less the discipline. I’m so desperate for you that I need you to give me the desire to desire you!”
Philippians 2:12b-13 (NLT): Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
Recently our pastor preached on Philippians 2:12-13. I told him about my recurring prayer after his sermon, saying that I’ve been praying this scripture without even knowing it. How encouraging it is to know that God gives us “the desire and the power to do what pleases him”!
Thank you, Lord. You put that prayer in my heart and I’m only now connecting it to this scripture. It confirms what I’ve been praying for and affirms what I know to be true: The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. We can’t comprehend the depths of the knowledge of God (Romans 11:33).
